Cookie: A story of love and loss

How do I celebrate birth,
how do I celebrate life,
when life itself is dying,
fading into nothingness,

We are all dead carcasses in human skin,
just wasting away with the living and the dead,

And for those of you
who think you’re alive,
you too have rotted,
you too have died.

 

Stop.

Stop right there.

I know what you’re thinking.

“Did I just read poetry?”

Possibly.

But this isn’t just poetry. It is also an introduction line to a short story I have written. So there goes the introduction, and here goes the rest of the story….

 

Cookie: A story of love and loss

 

Forever fought time to stay by my side, but time was not our friend. Time said fate had come to tell him: “it’s time our romance ends”.

I am lost. I wish I could tell you I want to be found. But the tragedy of losing someone leaves an imprint in your soul and you carry it with you, for however long you have to, until you finally heal.

I have not stopped mourning Him. My four paws, two eyes, 20 pound beauty. His name was cookie, and cookie was unmistakably beautiful. Cookie was just two weeks old when I adopted him and five years old when he left me for a new world. It broke my heart to see him age while I still carried youth in the marrow of my bones. I am no mother, but I was a mother to him, and nothing hurts more than losing a child. A child you have loved all your life. A child you have practically raised all the way to adulthood.

The sun has set on Cookie, and it rises for him in a new world. Under a new sky, cookie lives. Under the same sky, he lives on in my heart. Loss is brutal, and fate is not my friend. But fate knew kindness, and she took him, when he needed life to end. A part of me died when I told him goodbye, but most of me lives. He is my greatest loss, but He was also my greatest friend. With Cookie, I was alive. Without him, I’m just breathing. Breathing is not living. And even though, I’m not living, I am not dead either. And that is worth a celebration.

And that is why I live, or that is why I try anyway.

We go through most of our lives simply sifting through the motions. Most of us take life for granted. After all, we are here today and gone tomorrow. We don’t know if there is a light at the end of the tunnel, or if salvation awaits us at the ivory gates of Heaven. But what we do know is that we are here. We may not always be at our healthy best, but we are here. We are still here, still breathing, still living. We rise when the sun rises, and when the sun goes to bed, so do we, just to rise again the next morning, when the sun rises with us and breathes into us a life we don’t know what to do with.

They say death changes people. It sure has changed me. It has filled me with sadness, but it has changed me in new ways. I’m a new me. I see rainbows after the rain. I see colors past the pain. And if this isn’t living, I don’t know what is.

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